I recently got my hands on a copy of The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming Superhuman by Tim Ferriss.

The book includes two sections on 15 Minute Female Orgasms. Part Un is about facilitating them during sexual penetration, and recommends three different positions complete with illustrations. Part Deux involves a method of orgasmic exploration whereby the male (or whoever) strokes the female’s clitoris in a certain way for 15 minutes straight.

A few nights ago I tried out Part Un with a girl I’ve been having sex with for the last three months. (I’m not big on titles—or commitment—but our relationship does include incredibly deep conversations and mind-blowing growth experiences. Overall, our sex life is much more “making love” than “having sex.”)

She’s knows herself pretty well and can orgasm while on top (by controlling the motions and using my penis/body for stimulation) or in doggy style (where I am penetrating from behind and she is rubbing herself manually), but those are mostly her giving herself an orgasm with a little help from my penis. What I’ve been wanting to explore is how to entice her into orgasm on my own, learning whatever tricks I may need to pick up on the way.

Enter The 4-Hour Body.

The 15 Minute Female Orgasm—Part Un

I’m not big on following instructions. I gave Part Un a read mostly for my own curiosity, knowing that I would incorporate anything I learned as inspired, not as directed.

This section of the book, however, makes two points abundantly clear. (1) The vital importance of a women getting comfortable with orgasms—first alone, then with her partner. And (2) the effectiveness of the pelvic grind; the importance of which is illustrated perfectly in the excerpt below on the first of three recommended sexual positions.

Improved-Pressure Missionary
To accomplish this position, the male must shift his weight forward a few inches. First, he must straighten his legs (bringing them closer together makes this easier) so the knees are off of the bed. Then he’ll support more weight on her pelvis (the entire purpose) and his arms.

This changes the angle of penetration so that the focal point of friction is no longer the head of the penis against the vaginal wall, but rather the man’s pelvic bone on the woman’s clitoris. This kills two birds with one stone: the man can last far longer, and the woman receives direct clitoral stimulation.

After soaking up this section of the book I put it away. It wasn’t until a few nights later that I had my first opportunity to put it into action.

Sexy Time

Our first time having sex together that night was pretty standard. I had thought up a method of building our attraction for each other where we spent the first 20 minutes or so without making contact just starring into each others and voicing all the naughty things we wanted to do to each other. Eventually we things got hotter and we disrobed. Playing with ourselves in front of the other until we just had to have each other.

This led to some pretty intense sex, but in the heat of all that yumminess my mind scarcely reminded me of anything new I learned from the book.

But somehow in the midst of having sex for the second time of the night the wisdom of the above excerpt came to mind. I started focusing more on the pelvic grind than penetration, and she gave an immediate.

“Ohh, that grinding feels sooo good baby.”

She had said similar things to me in the past, mostly while she was on top with her body pressed against mine, but I’d always assumed it was the grinding of my penis against her g-spot that felt so good. I didn’t pick up on the fact that she was positioning herself in a way where her clit was getting direct pelvic stimulation.

A quick note on the female g-spot:

The female g-spot is generally about a quarter in size and one to two inches inside the vagina on the top side. If the male inserts an index finger up to the second knuckle (palm up), and makes a come-hither motion, the fingertip should touch a sponge-like tissue or be within an inch of it. This is the g-spot.

Back to the Grind

I played around with the various tips and tricks I could recall from my read-through. Grinding from left to right (as if my hips were a seesaw and her clit was the fulcrum). Playing around with straightening my knees to increase pelvic pressure. And Tim’s ultimate “when in doubt” advice:

Just as one friend said to me as I ground the gears of my car on a steep hill in San Francisco:

“If you can’t find it, grind it.”

Bad advice in cars, good advice in girls.

The seesaw like grinding was my favorite part. It seemed to create the perfect mix of grinding and penetration as my penis would slide outward when on the far left or right and re-penetrate when over center. I happened upon this very technique in previous sexual explorations with her but without knowing to emphasize pelvic pressure and directly target the clitoris.

Tim talks often of things that leverage as little as 2.5% of the effort for 95% of the results. This certainly seems like one of them.

The Nuances of Male and Female Sexual Pleasure

For those who don’t know, male and female pleasure during sex is not always proportional. Some things rub a woman just the right way. Some (and most men are usually quick to find these ) take care of a man with little regard for the woman. And others work to the delight of both.

Normally when I’m top I switch things up often to create a natural balance. If I start to get overstimulated, I angle myself for less penis-head-to-vaginal-wall contact. If I start to get understimulated, I pick up the pace and angle myself for more vaginal contact. Too much overstimulation means I either have to physically stop or come early. Too much understimulation and I’ll lose my erection entirely. If I’m on my game I can apply relatively consistent pressure to her g-spot without understimulating myself. This allows me to focus on making sex pleasurable for both of us by exploring the heights of my sexual pleasure until I get close to coming, and then using that sexual charge to press even more directly into her with even greater passion and intensity of focus.

However, in the midst of all this seesawing around and noticing cause and effect / innovating accordingly, my focus had noticeably shifted. I was perhaps too curious and involved in what was happening with her to notice the slowing flow of blood to my penis. By the time I caught on it was perhaps too late to save the erection. A penis at half-mast usually isn’t engorged enough to apply enough pressure against the vaginal wall to stimulate it back to full life. But nonethless I was still inside her and applying my newly honed pelvic grind like a seasoned pro.

Little did I know how small a role my penis needed to play…

The Final Push

Despite the fact that my penis was now a sinking ship, I grinded on. Even with little penile stimulation she was still rapt in obvious pleasure. Without a penis to distract me I now focused more and more on the grind. I angled myself for even more direct pressure and my penis slipped out in the process. But my grinding now had her on the brink of orgasm.

“Put yourself back inside me baby.”

Still with half an erection, I took my penis by the hand and pressed myself back inside her. This was enough to send her over the top.

She moaned in unmistakeable pleasure as she quivered with orgasmic delight. Her energy shot up my body until I felt flush with heat, my erection reborn with newfound life. Wanting to be a part of this beautiful moment I continued to grind and thrust myself inside her. Her pleasure carried as my pleasure drove to catch up with hers. And mere seconds later, still without a complete erection, I buckled with the kind of orgasm that would take your breath away if you weren’t already using it to voice your pleasure.

Weak in the knees and mildly exhausted, I rolled over on my back and let out a sigh of victory.

Man had conquered. Woman lay in satisfaction.

Closing Thoughts

In the immediate aftermath of the event I didn’t credit the book much for my experience. After all, the results I got were largely from improvised application of a few principles I gleaned from a single reading of a single section. But in retrospect, therein lies the book’s genius. You don’t need to achieve expert-level understanding to get results. You just need to figure out what matters to you and then find the 2.5% that will get you 95% of the results in a fraction of the time.

As Tim puts it:

RULE #1. THINK OF THIS BOOK AS A BUFFET.

Do not read this book from start to finish.

Most people won’t need more than 150 pages to reinvent themselves. Browse the table of contents, pick the chapters that are most relevant, and discard the rest … for now.

Like a buffet, not all of the book will appeal to everyone. But if you’re at all interested in improving your experience of the physicality of life, this book is a great place to start. It will help you bite off more than you thought you could chew with less effort than you ever thought could be true.

Happy Feasting

Click here to buy The 4-Hour Body on Amazon and be sure to stay tuned to my blog for followups and my review of the book’s 15 Minute Female Orgasms: Part Deux.