Effortless creation. Certain people seem to draw it out of me.
It’s easy to put ideas into words because I’m not afraid of failing in front of them.
The person I have the clearest channel with in the whole wide world is the same person I’ve experienced the most emotional agony with.
The more shit we’ve been through, the less shit I give myself before bringing something new through.
The less I need to filter (because she’s seen it all already), the easier it is flow.
This has me wondering. Does this phenomenon scale?
Can I create the same level of safety I experience in an intimate relationship with an audience where it’s never completely clear who’s reading or what their agenda may be?
It seems to me, that I have a fear of getting close to you.
I don’t want you to know me as deeply as an intimate partner, because I don’t want to give you the chance to confirm that I’m not OK as I am.
I am uncertain about myself, and that makes the uncertainty of your response doubly dangerous.
Maybe I need to do more inner work before I can safely share my world with the world.
Or maybe you and I just need to go through more shit together.
To be continued…