Asking for support is lot like asking for a vulnerability hangover. But unlike real hangovers, where you can drink more to delay the headache, vulnerability hangovers just keep stacking up until your nervous system feels like a 22 car pileup.
My “self-care” practice involves a lot of numbing, coping, and distracting. A trio that acts like three legs to a stool that sits high above the river of shit flowing underneath it and safely allows me to spiritually bypass anything. Today was periodic numbing and coping with no time for distraction, so the stool tipped over and I fell face-first into a pile of my own shit. 🤷♂️
This is not as despairing as it sounds, because I already made peace with the transition period sucking. I’m treating this month like receiving an organ transplant. Even if my old ways were failing me, my system’s still going to fight the new in a misguided attempt to maintain homeostasis.
Doing the work means staying with the discomfort. It’s recognizing the river gets deeper as you wade into it, but ultimately you’ll end up on the other side. The worst thing you can do is expect not to get wet, or assume there’s something wrong with you if you do.