Today’s big support breakthrough came through being encouraged to ask directly for what I want, and then practicing it in a safe container.
Asking directly for what I want has been an edge since I was nine, but the container felt so safe that it became easier and easier to get more specific about my exact preferences. Somehow I always equated being super specific about what I want with being a hassle, but when someone is encouraging you to share your true self with them, it’s almost an asshole move not to.
Afterward I noticed that the micro-stress I sometimes experience after social encounters wasn’t there at all, and in it’s place was a deep well of appreciation.
Is it really this easy to reverse old habits? Is the recipe as simple as find someone who’s eager to experience what you normally shut off and practice turning it back on?
There’s something about that felt sense of “I did the thing that was supposed to lead to hurt and everything went well” that seems to be more healing than any amount of exploring why the hurt or fear exists in the first place.