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Higher Framework: Can writing go from torturous to exciting?

Problem: I find it hard to write. It’s not fun and it rarely feels worth it to torture myself in the writing process only to put out mediocre work.

Desire: I want to fall in love with writing. I want to love every second we spend together. I want the act of writing to feel nurturing. I want the opportunity to express myself and my ideas to feel exciting.

Problem: Writing is hard because I haven’t taken the time to make it fun. I find it hard to love anything that appears less than perfect.

Desire: I want to make writing fun. I want to learn to love less than perfect.

Problem: Loving less than perfect seems hard. It seems like times when I’ve been less than perfect have led to great pain and shame. And so I am trying to be perfect so that I can avoid that.

Desire: I want to understand the gift I received from past instances of pain of shame.

Problem: They don’t feel like gifts. They feel like burdens. Like me being less than perfect is a burden. Anything that opens me up to criticism shines a light on my unhealed self. Why am I not healed? Why am I not perfect? Why am I not the way I need to be in order for humans to love me?

Desire: I want to be loved. I want to lead the conversation when it comes to loving myself. There are many things I can find a way to love about myself. I can make this a problem of acceptance, not a problem of worthiness.

Problem: I am taking past experiences personally. I am measuring myself against what I think I should be. I am not accepting myself as I am. I am not standing up for myself as I am. I am pushing against anyone who sees me in a light that I find it hard to love.

Desire: I want to let the past serve me from the past. I want to let the present serve me in the now. I want to accept myself for what I am. I want to accept myself for what I’m not. I don’t have to be everything to experience everything I want!

Problem: It appears as though other people sometimes act as gatekeepers to what I want. I try to conform to “supposed to’s” and “shoulds” because I want to be granted access to the joy that comes in connecting lovingly with other human beings. I find it hard to believe that people will love me unconditionally, so it’s easy to believe that I have to be a certain way to be loved.

Desire: I want to free people from the expectation that they should love me unconditionally. I want to see my job as being unconditionally accepting of myself and others. Love follows acceptance. If I am unconditionally accepting, I will experience unconditional love.

Higher Framework: Writing is an invitation. An opportunity for acceptance. Putting ideas into text gives them the opportunity to spread. If I am focused on what I want, I’m more likely to spread what I want. If I’m spreading what I want, I’m more likely to enjoy the act of writing.

Higher Desire: Writing mobilizes ideas, and I have the freedom to mobilize what I want. I want to give my desires legs. I want to give them the freedom to manifest themselves. I want to be excited to hit “publish” and see what happens next!

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