Huge day. Lots of support. Lots of insights that cut deep.
At this point, I rarely notice asking for support anymore. Most of it has taken a momentum of its own. What I do notice are all the beautiful and hard hitting insights that come from a willingness to shine a light on previously overlooked areas of my life:
- I have trust wounds. My biggest trust wound is with God.
- When my wounded parts scream “stop hurting me,” I can invite them to say “start helping me” instead.
- My parts will work together if I hold space for them all to contribute and make decisions in consensus.
- Enjoy what I have, don’t try to turn it into what I want.
- Focus on what I want, not what I think I can have.
- Suffering as a sign of devotion is normalized for me. It doesn’t have to be.
- Trying to get things to go a certain way prevents me from experiencing them as they are.
- There are two factors that prevent me from being vulnerable: historic patterns, and lack of safety in the now. Discern between the two to know when to prioritize healing (historic stuff) and when to prioritize safety.
- Overthinking is a form of compensating for uncertainty. My mind is scrambling to make the unknown known.
- Enjoying what I enjoy with someone is the most honest form of relating. Prioritizing a relationship over discovering what I honestly enjoying about it is the surest way to sink it.
- Q: What’s the most important thing for me in relationships? A: Receiving love and the things I need without having to do anything. Set down the ability to influence or earn. Putting my hand on the wheel denies actual receiving.
- Q: How do I fall madly and truly in love with myself? A: Let go of figuring out. Don’t make it into a project or try what everyone else suggests. Set down the trying. Discover the things I can’t help but love about myself. Discover the things that get me to show up for me.
- Q: Where will I find fulfillment directing my creative energy? A: Quiet. Slowing down. Creative space to just be. Dropping into stillness and space. “Discipline is naming a desire and then structuring around it.” Structure without desire is tedium.